MORE MADDIE CHRONICLES (On Die Ates)

I am officially coming out of the cave bed and announcing I am Trans slender. That’s Right! I will no longer tolerate the Blonde Two Legs comments concerning the cushiness of my tushyness. Skinny is a state of mind not not a state of being. Especially not a state of being on a Die It. I used to think it was a Die Ate where you died just a little bit when smelling what the Sketchy Bald Two Legs prepared and the small amount rendered to an emaciated whippet gourmand. Now I know it entails the Two Legs trying to feed you IT! I know IT. I ran up on the Trog Dog in the backyard to play and he ITed on my nose. The Bald Dude called me ITHEAD and groped me with a wet washcloth. I was not amused!! Well the Blonde tries to sneak green beans and Brussel Sprouts into my kibble. I will not eat them Sam I Am!!!! They smell like butt bombs! They only butt nuggets I want are served warm with cheese and come from chickens. Your Weight is just the number of likes you’ve given warm eggies after all. Anyway as an official member of the Trans slender community I want to point out that skinny dogs have no bellies. No bellies means no belly rubs. No belly rubs means Sketchyness has occurred. That means that Bald Headed Boobinator need to be accountable and his left shoe disciplined! I hid it in the garage while he was offloading groceries. I think a tire tread pattern will squish the Sketchy out of it and provide a bit of fashion to the Mr. Magoo impersonator. If not it’s gonna be a case of one flush or two! Repeat after me. I want seconds! Maddie

I don’t get one share of the warm cheese Eggies, sausage turnover, or the bacon. That Bald Headed Boobinator is not a slow learner - he’s a no learner. I allowed the unwanted nail trim and the poke and stick place a couple of paws ago because I got bites of steak. But that low down, follicle challenged, food hoarder is not sharing again. I think the Blond Two Legs may be involved. I think she may have implemented another Die Ate protocol. I’m gonna have to think about doing something to the fabric room vibrator. I hear it has multiple feet so as soon as I figure which is the left one there will be vengeance. I have a very particular set of skills for Sketchy. I will look for it’s left shoe, I will find it and I will deSketchitize it! This involves does involve relocation and moisture testing of the offending object. Anyway, the Tzar Of Sketch, the Bald Two Legs is failing to provide sustenance. I whined, I sat, I downed, I lifted paw, I pawed his leg, repeatedly. I even gave him snuggle puppy face. That’s a Universally understood gesture for immediate food dispensing!! I got a cold green bean. That ain’t food! That’s a green slap in the muzzle! I know he understood I looked deep in his eyes and saw the underlying Sketchy. I have taken steps! I heard the Blonde Two Legs tell to do the wash so I’m kinda helping him. I’ve just put his left shoe, the repository of Sketchy, in the appropriate washing station. I better get some chicken, or ham, or sausage, or steak, or something tongue pleasing and belly massaging. As I said I bet I won’t get one share from the Bald one. At least until he’s found and dried out his shoe. Maddie

A HUGE SUCCESS! $4,500 will be donated in memory of Allison Thomson Vicuna to NOOC. WOWZA what a spectacular agility community - FAMILY - we have! Thanks to Pamela O'Day & TMAC, Noreen Bennett Pawprint Trials, Chris Frado Jay Doster and Committee Deborah Potvin Roberts Erika Kiss Kathy Lesinski Laurie Grace and all of the volunteers - all of the Peeps who attended Friday 27 September’s Agility Match to honor Allison and raise money for ovarian cancer.

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