The Rip Van Wrinkler,
XXIII, Issue 4, November 2019


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Natalie Culver

Our little Ivy pup is smart too. She does things that remind me of Kunjo - smart dog kind of things; like tossing a less high reward toy around until her brother drops the toy that she actually wants to steal from him, but she doesn’t want to fight him for it, she just gets him interested in some other toy then she snatches the one she wants. Kunjo used to do that all the time with Obike. I never saw Kunjo care about a Nylabone but boy! when Obike had a toy or chewy Kunjo wanted Kunjo would carry on, tossing a Nylabone around like it was the best thing ever, until he could make his move and snatch the better chewy.

Karen Christensen, Hannah, Nicholas and Natalie Culver
and Ivy and Jasper.

Karen Christensen

I fall for Tutu’s game every time! Getting her dressed up to race today she had her nose glued to the rear deck of the minivan, making it hard for me to work her into the Lucky #3 blanket. On deck: leashes, poop bags, race blankets & muzzles, my water bottle, various strewn dog treats.

James Halstead helping me noted she was actually checking out a small wad of cash. Oh yeah, Tuts luuurves munnee!

Lotta Olsson

Some say Hio and his dad are starting to look alike!

Lisa Stewart

Basenjis will never make it as physical therapists. I was using one of Bolt's doga peanut shaped balls to do this exercise. First Gambit discovered I had freshly shampooed hair and started rolling on my head, then Bolt says, hey that’s my doga ball and tries to climb on top the ball to balance. Maddie looks on waiting for the next act.

Karla Schreiber I used a new shampoo over the weekend. Omg! A NEW shampoo!! You'd have thought I washed my hair with bone broth! ???)

Lisa Stewart

Ummm, What’s You Doin In Dere? I wasn’t done playin.

Jackie Dering

Cute walk story - So yesterday when we were walking the dogs a little toddler girl was trying to decide whether to pet the dogs or not when Harley yodeled at her. She was startled so I told her she’s just saying helloooooo. She giggled, but decided not to pet the dogs. Tonight the little girl was across the street and when she saw us she yodeled at Harley. It just made my day.

Awesome Luke story - So we were walking the dogs and Harley and I sometimes fall behind because she has to smell, well, everything. Ed and Luke were about half of a block ahead and I didn’t want to yell for them. So I just clearly said “Luke, wait” in a normal voice. He turned around and parked his butt until we caught up. Love that dog.

Luisa Ghetti

Django Guzzles... nose or arms.

Cathy Farrell

The Saluki Puppies blinking eyes, lowering their heads and walking like they are on bubble wrap means the do not appreciate the rain.

Ashley Lorin

Oh. And Ivan will sleep with just about anything in his mouth. Anything or anyone. He was dozing off before she (Bella) decided she didn’t like it any more.

Debby Mayer & Sizzle

Sizzle: Debby, go to your desk. It's writing time. I curl up next to your desk.

Debby: [starting toast] Not right now, Sizzle, just today, we're going to your 9:15 nose work class, which has turned into an 8:30 nose work class.

S: Am I going?

D: [slicing apple] Yes, sweetie, it's your class.

S: Are you sure?

D: [pouring coffee] Yes, I'm sure.

S: Then I'll sit here, on the mat by the sink, so that every time you need water, you'll remember to bring me.

Sizzle: Debby . . .

Debby: Sizzle . . .

S: I don't want to live in a unit.

D: Sounds like a drawer in a morgue, doesn't it.

S: You have a way with words, Debby.

D: So do you, Sizzle dear. Can you say "con-do-min-i-um"?

S: Too long. How about "house".

D: That's a little inflated. "Home" is nice.

S: Yes, home. We live in our home.

Debby: Sizzle, two years of practicing passing other dogs calmly, and then you growl at the HOA board president's tiny dog, and it wasn't even barking at you.

Sizzle: It came toward us. I was between it and you. I had to protect you.

D: Sizzle, I could have drop-kicked that ankle-biter into La Jolla with one foot.

S: Heh-heh . . . let's do that tonight!

Tamara Allen

Tippy with a little acorn topped head...
She is very patient with me, and lets me balance things on her head

Chris O'Rear

Professor Swagger At Your Service.

Donna Young

A conversation with a kindergartener in my class...a little boy, just out of the blue and in front of the entire class said to me, "My dog has her period." Surprised and not sure if he even understood what that meant, I said, "She does?" He said, "Yeah and she has to wear underpants." I said, "Oh really?" He said, "Yeah, my mom makes her wear underpants because she has her period." Another boy asked him, "What's a period?" The boy with the dog said, "It's something bad that girls get and we aren't supposed to talk about it." I said, "O.K., well then let's not talk about it." OMG. I swear, as a teacher when I thought I've heard everything, these kids just keep surprising me!!! By the way, this boy has a shar pei. Now imagine this wrinkled dog in a pair of underwear. Too funny!

Donna Young

I have the strangest dogs. They are always making piles! They steal things and I have to watch them like little kids. Tonight it started when I caught Vinny walking into the living room carrying a bathroom towel. As I took it away from him, I heard scratching and went to check only to find that Kricket was somehow locked in the bathroom. I let her out, told them to behave and 10 min. later heard paper being torn. I went into the living room to find a pile of stuff once again in the middle of the floor. It included, blankets, towels taken from the kitchen and bathroom, a pack of photo paper taken from the table (that's what was being ripped), my sandals, a pad with stuffing torn out of it from Vinny's crate, (which Kricket taught herself to open using her nose and paws) and various other items (some of which I don't even know what they are or where they came from). As I picked things up to put them away, I came back only to find replacements for what I removed, including my outdoor crocks and dog chews with Vinny laying in the midst of it all, chewing away....I just now had to stop typing because I heard something being pulled around in the living room. Vinny has another crate pad and is starting a new pile. When I yell at them, they just act innocent! They are driving me CRAZY!!!

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble... At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree..

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.

This story and has been adapted and taken from a story on The Twilight Zone. "The Hunt." It was written by Earl Hammer Jr.

Pi Butterworth, the Cat.