The Rip Van Wrinkler,
XXIV, Issue 3, August 2020

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Ode to Crayon, Hannah Culver


Matching blue stuff. Leaf


Dennis Sprung sent this along - written by Daphna Straus, one of the AKC VPs.

The cancellation of swaths of AKC events has left many of us wistful and impatient for their return. With no shows to enter and plenty of absence to make the heart grow fonder, I found myself pondering what I got out of them in the first place. Here are 10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM AKC SPORTS.

1. I learned how to drive. Where I’m from (NYC), a car is a luxury, but it’s a necessity to get to dog events. Whether I was mastering the hills of San Francisco to get to the SFDTC, cruising along Route 80 to Top Dog Obedience School, learning the back roads to PCOTC or staving off white line fever on the way to a Specialty, AKC events made me into something of a road warrior. We really get our miles in for our dogs.

2. I learned how to be on time. When it comes to AKC events, if you’re on time, you’re late. I learned how to build time into my departure plans to be sure I had ample time to warm up my dog and be ring ready without extra stress.

3. I learned persistence. We lose more than we win in dogs. We have more NQs than Qs and placements. From every NQ in Obedience I gained a lesson for improvement. As they say, “there will always be another dog show” – always an opportunity to do better next time.

4. I learned patience. Success in our events comes with a side of waiting around. Waiting for Best of Breed or Groups. Waiting for sits and downs. You’ve gotta be in it to win it, so stick around.

5. I learned how to be creative and resourceful. Since I never had a yard for a practice ring, I set up jumps in Central Park. The long alley behind my building served well for down-and-backs. Flocks of pigeons stood in for Indian Runner Ducks.

6. I learned the downside of procrastinating. Sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, entries will always close two weeks ahead. Waiting too long to enter adds the extra expense of online entry fees (now inevitable for those of us always out of stamps) and the risk of being shut out altogether. This is a rule that never changes, and yet, I still wait till nearly the last minute almost every time.

7. I learned how to get organized. Have a full tank before setting out for a show, lest you miss your ring time or confuse your dog with the smell of fuel on his scent articles. Wash and dry those articles the night before a trial. Pick out your outfits and get your show gear packed up the night before, too. A frantic, last minute search for that lucky show lead could cancel out its good vibes. Load driving directions up ahead in case you lose your signal along the way. AKC events helped me pull myself together!

8. I learned the importance of setting goals and about the joy that comes with achieving them. While so much in life remains out of our control, our dog events give us wonderful opportunities to pursue challenging and fulfilling objectives while having fun along the way: a home-bred champion, an OTCH, a MACH, or any number of titles that reward instinct and breeding for purpose.

9. I learned the value of volunteering. Being a ring steward, match secretary, parking attendant or any other seemingly thankless job is truly important. Without helpers to perform these tasks, the show can’t go on. It is satisfying to play a role in something bigger than yourself.

10. I learned that we humans can get along with everyone and anyone – no matter our differences – because we are all working toward similar goals with our dogs. Our sports build camaraderie between rich and poor, young and old, men and women, gay and straight, rural and urban. We build deep and lasting connections with others by training and showing our dogs. The dog show community sets a tremendous example to others by building strength through the diversity we celebrate in our clubs, events and friendships.

Till we meet again, ringside! -Daphna Straus

About the May Wrinkler!

Natalie Culver Hannah and Nicholas and I enjoyed poking through the Wrinkler this evening. Nicholas was so exited to see himself with Jasper & Ivy in the Wrinkler. And Hannah liked that you included her art and especially she liked the videos of her and Ivy’s trick dog novice activities & she also really likes your drawing of Chris Klein wedding dress agility, as do I. Fabulous Wrinkler newsletter yet again!

Lisa Marshall Excellent as usual! Plus 2 Bradys!

Lisa Stewart Great issue for these times.

Chris Maxka OFA results: people need to name their pups before testing. Half the results are Puppy 1, Puppy 2...and totally negates the concept of open testing data.

Brenda Phillips So many people are testing! #sunnyside
Thank you Susan, can't wait to get to it this weekend!

Uschi Grewe Enjoyed reading it a lot, as always Susan, great job done

Anne MacMillan Excellent as always!

Peggy Pick Thank you. It is a wonderful newsletter, as always. The dog photos delight me, and list of accomplishments impresses me. What talented dogs and people Wrinklers are. There are tempting recipes, stories, fun things to buy. I love the Wrinkler.

Paul Mount I read the entire Wrinkler as soon as I saw it, which was about 3am, lying down in bed, with Zuri’s hip next to my hip, as usual.

Katie Campbell Soooo fun, Susan! Thank you so much for sharing! This is a really terrific issue with SOOO much to enjoy! Thank you!

Malley Heinlein Thank you, Susan! I miss you and your dogs!
Love, Malley, Huck, and Tiger Lily!


The Maddie Chronicles:
ErmaDog!! That Bald Headed Two Legs is at it again. Not only is some village missing it’s idiot but it stores it’s spoons in the knife drawer. The Dude told me I wasn’t getting any warm eggies today! What the Heck. I luvz chicken butt nuggets! I’ve been getting warm, cheesy, tummy soothing eggies since I arrived. In fact on Saturdays I gets me Pieces of Yumlet after he goes out. I really like yumlets they have bacon, ham, cheese, and eggs and the make my tummy feel yummy. The excuse that the Piddles ate the last two eggs is hogswallow! Those two little hogs swallowed my eggies and had the effrontery to growl at me when I took an investigatory sniff. There will be a disciplinary rolling of those disloyal curly tailed minions later. Well, I know an attempted Die Ateing when my belly rumbles. I spotted the Bald Boob’s shoes on the coffee table for supervisory purposes. That was not a problem. I sent the Piddles in to roll on his face. They slide down from the top of the couch in a nipping ball. Usually he either gets a nose nip or chance to sniff butt. Anyway while this was occurring I used my Shadowness to approach the totems of Sketchy. I went to secure to left shoe but that Two Legged Mongrel had stuffed a sketchy amplifying item into the right one: worn socks. Oh My Dog! The malodorous stink! That Two Legs paws should be furry and black with white stripes. I had to secure the right shoe and it’s Sketchyness amplifier and relocate it into the big Grrrl room. I removed the socks but my gag reflex kicked in and Bolt had to make sure I wasn’t choking. I persevered though. I snuck back in. Grabbed the left shoe and took it out into the backyard. It is now moist! I stuck it under the waterfall and cleaned my tongue from that evil sock backwash. Maddie Out!

The Maddie Chronicles:
Hold it! There is a disturbance in the Sketchy. The Two Legs are acting strangely. They are acting trained, in fact, almost house broken! Now, if I did not know my adversaries so well I would think that I had succeeded in instilling the proper deference of Whippet required for as Noble a Canine as am I. But I know that Bald Boob too well. Somewhere there’s a village missing an idiot! The Blonde Two Legs obviously knows this too as that’s why she keeps taking him out on the weekends in the Maddiemobile. She’s trying to find a town that will fess up! Anyway, the Two Legs let me sleep in and get a most excellent belly rub. My back feet toes even curled it was administered so efficiently. That’s suspicious because the Blonde is normally in a rush to eject the Piddle squad and make her morning brew. She sighs and moans when she gets it ready. Today she gave me a new toy. It was a spaceship with little aliens inside it. I was about to so them who was the leader when the piddles and I had a slight disagreement as to who should be first contact. The piddles ended up winning and I’m troubled to say that there may have been some anal probing involved! I’m not sure those little aliens will ever be the same. Now today is eggie day. Mr Sketchy disappears with the Substitute Two Legs and returns with those golden, cheesy egg bites. Normally, I have to share and only get two or three bites. Today, I got lots of my very own bowl of eggies and diced chicken bites. The Blonde Two Legs sang Happy Bird Day while I was munching. I really didn’t need mood music. I did enjoy the extra bites of conquered eggies the Sketchy Squad gave me when they returned. Why is the Sketchinator sucking up? I have my Shadow mode on standby as who knows what Sketchy lurks in the hearts of Bald Dudes. I voiced my concerns to the Piddles and Alita went off half cocked. She tore the insole out of Mr. Sketchy’s right shoe. Now we all know the left shoe is the repository of Sketchyness. Also, eating the insole is just not smart. Does she have any idea we’re those feet have been? My Dog the smell alone should have given her an idea. She’ll never get that taste out of her mouth! I bet she remembers the tail pop, head smack, and crating though. She’s singing the song of her people but the Bald Dude is just glaring at her. She better not have jeopardized my burgers. Baldy said that he was grilling and I plan on snifferating. Burgers a tasty hockey pucks from heaven don’t you know. It must be Bird Day since the keep saying that to me so Happy Bird Day to all you guys. Hope you get chicken or turkey cause no one wants a goose when it’s hot. Maddie Out!

The Maddie Chronicles:
Ermahdog!!! That overly sharing Blonde Two Legs just insulted me! That sketchy Two legs had the audacity to call me a Fat Bitch! Now I proudly acknowledge my Bitchness. In fact I wear it well! But when you start inferring my chassis is somewhat less classy because I can clean my food bowl, well and maybe a couple others before I’m caught, we have a problem. Just because I used her bare pinky toe as the starting block to launch myself out the door after the Piddles is no reason to share your body preferences with the neighbors! She repeatedly asked me if I wanted outside and yes I am a good girl, but changing your tone and terms of endearment in mere seconds is just a bit mental if you ask me. I heard the Bald Boob chuckle so I suspect he is the source of this offense. As the Supreme Sultan of Sketchy his nefarious schemes are often enacted by others. This is especially true with doorbell ringing Madland violators. They invade my Sanctum disrupting my Shadow Feng Shui. You just can’t get a good nap on when you are at BARKCON5. Therefore, I chose the appropriate discipline: Purloining the Right Shoe of the Bald One. Since this was his affront through proxy, I disciplined the totem of Sketchy by proxy. I took it into the backyard and left it for the Piddles. Unfortunately, the Blonde Two Legs decided we had exceeded our backyard stuffy quota. I do not think 26 toys is too many for outside. I girl’s gotta have variety. The shoe just barely had any condensation on it. I must consider this. More discipline may be required. Maddie out!

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