The Rip Van Wrinkler,
XXIV, Issue 4, November 2020

Page 13 <previous page> <next page>

Thena stealing Joe Stewart's soul.


Hannah Culver - Leaf's brindle. She drew just Leaf & dog treat bones (except she didn’t get his white blaze but it’s supposed to be him).

Carol Mounts' Strider - Rare and Trendy Dogs on Regis and Kathy Lee; Strider ( Ch Sukari's Akuaba The Strider CDX, AX, NAP, AXJ, NJP) YouTube - CLICK HERE

Natalie Culver

I was drawing out some of the new signs at my kitchen table but I paused to go look upstairs for plastic sheet protector pockets for the obedience signs so the pages don’t get wet in damp grass.
Then I heard something sounded like squishy crunchy noises from the kitchen & the dogs were the only ones in the kitchen & I couldn’t quite place the sound. I hadn’t yet found the plastic sheet protectors but I came back downstairs to check on naughty dogs.

It was Ivy. She was chewing the corner off of the plastic page protector “finish” rally-obedience sign. I guess I need one more of these plastic sleeves now, and maybe Ivy says she’s finished before we started training today lol.'

This is just the “card” that Hannah drew for you. Hannah wanted to see pic of Leaf to know what he looked like. I showed her few pics of you on your fb page as well.

She said she wanted to draw you & Leaf looking at the sunset. So that’s what she did (with a boarder of green leaves). You are looking at sunset but hannah said “but he [Leaf] is looking at that little bird”.

This is Hannah’s about me page from the first day of in-person (hybrid) 3rd grade.

The night before (Labor Day evening) we had roasted hotdogs and marshmallows over our lil’bon-fire in the backyard for outdoor dinner.
I love that she drew roasting marshmallows & being out in nature.

Also love the curly tails on pic of her dogs. (I'm not sure if she meant to draw one plumper than the other but Miss Ivy dog herself is a bit fuller-of-figure than our Jasper dog, lol).

About the August Wrinkler!

Barb Kunze Great issue as always. Love all the photos.I am so sorry to hear about Guy Noir. He was a special one. My heart goes out to you as I know you must miss him so much.

Debby Mayer The good dogs are so, well, good! And cute.

Brenda Phillips Ahhh, reading made my Saturday morning very special indeed.

Karla Schreiber Lovely issue as always, Susan!

Uschi Grewe Soooo lovely, as always, Susan!

Natalie Culver I am much admiring the lovely dogs in the very nice back-lit porch cover photo. Who is that in center front? Is that MissGoldie? {Ed., Yes, Goldie}So pretty. And great Wrinkler newsletter as always.

Chris O'Rear As always very nice and a great issue...

Kim McNeill how did i miss that. lovely as always.

Annechien Smith Excellent and entertaining as usual.

Kipawa Harder Such a great issue, thank you so much Susan and team!

Anne MacMillan Excellent as always.

Memory - Lisa Stewart and Trog - 2011


The Maddie Chronicles:
Oh For Dog’s Sake. The Bald Boob is at it again. He Booped Me on the nose! That’s right he intentionally popped my sensitive snoot with his filthy fork bearing paw. The fact that it may or may not have been hovering over his plate and my tongue was sneaking a smackeral of his biscuits and gravy has no bearing on his unwarranted assault on my sniffer! We all know one of the few redeeming qualities of the Sketchy Snoot Striker is his ability to cook. He causes belly rumblings with a variety of sniffs in the morning. I especially like the bacon an warm cheese eggie smells. However, sausage gravy is milk based. I luvz me some milk! Well, Mr. Sketchy provided the universally known open invitation to sample. Well, that Sketchy Two Legs put a plate full of biscuits and gravy near the edge of the counter within tongue tasting and went for coffee. As we all know I am the all seeing and all knowing Shadow so I accepted the invitation. I was busily applying my licks to get to the tootsie roll center of that mound of biscuits and gravy when I got thwacked! There was even a verbal “That’s not for you”. There was a contract. He offered, I accepted. He reneged! You know There are days When I look at that Bald Two Legs I think “His cornbread just ain’t done in the middle!” This is one of them.. His continued pursuit of the path of Sketchyness is futile yet he persists. When will he understand that Maddies belong in all places that decisions are being made? I’m gonna go Notorious Dee Oh Gee on that Two Legs! It’s Left Shoe Discipline Time. I have secured a new left shoe. It’s grey but just as Sketchy. I’ve placed it in the back of a Piddle’s crate.if I’m lucky he won’t notice and Alita will customize it when put down for her nap. Nose Slapping Indeed. Maddie Out!

The Maddie Chronicles:
Oh My Dog! That worthless, low down and high smelling Bald Two Legs is at it again. He allowed strange Two Legs to violate my personal space. The Bald Dude obviously suffers from Connectile Dysfunction! He keeps allowing breaches in the Maddieland borders. We are going to have to have words! I'm not fluent in IDIOT, so I’m gonna speak s-l-o-w-l-y and clearly. A couple of days ago he allowed some female Two Legs to come visit the Piddles. Now, I thought he was just being snuggly by watching Westerns on the Big Grrrl bed and I’m all for a good belly rub and scritches, however, he snuck an invader into the house. I protested this violation to no avail. In fact he hid his shoes and wrapped me in a blanket. Muffled woofs were still uttered and that Sketchy Stooge only turned up the volume. He then abandoned me and came back smellin of food but No Styrofoam!!!! No belly yums means I ain’t gruntled. Well, today I was in early morning snooze when the Strange Two Leg alarm sounded. I immediately vaulted from under the covers and went to WOOFCON 5! The Bald Two Legs opened the front door and spoke to an intruder. They discussed routers, modems, and connections. He then lured me into the backyard but I heard that intruder inside! Oh I scratched and yelled but the Bald Boob has deadbolted the door. I circled the Madlands and the intruder showed up outside. I barked, I yarked, I even gave good snarl. I was ignored. In fact, He even called me Pretty Girl! Does he understand that telling a bitch to calm down is like baptizing a cat? I went full conniption! The Bald One uttered inane comments but I had enough. Its left shoe time! He let us inside but trapped in the Big Grrrl room. I secured the left shoe he felt he had hidden under the bed. Foolish Two Legs. It was immediately taken to the Anti Sketchy Baptismal and dunked. I could not get the silver refill handle to work but it was bathed. One does not mess with The Shadow! Maddie Out!

The Maddie Chronicles:
Goodness Gracious Great Dogs On Fire! Those sketchy Two Legs are at it again! First, they pupnapped my Piddle Squad for an entire Paw. That’s right, five whole lights and darks passed without my Whippet supervision. Just who was there to snark there nose when the poked it too close to a delectable treat? Who was there to roll them in the grass when they think they can out run your svelte black form? Who was there to clean up the uneaten kibble left after dinner? No One! They were unnecessarily extracted from my Shadow senses and my tastebuds savoring. That leads me to the Substitute Two Legs complete lack of culinary skills and portion sharing. The Substitute does not share nor even acknowledge when he has reached the Maddie portion of a hamburger, eggie biscuit, or chicken sammich. He just stares back at your accusatory stare, take a big blank stared bite of your share, and says quit pawing me. I hope he gets heartburn! He also can’t find the recipes for warm eggies. I get a cold chicken treat while he munches on a Breakfast Baconator. I deserve bacon too! I’m sure it’s that worthless Bald Two Legs fault. We all know his corn muffins ain’t done in the middle. This reeks of his Sketchy planning. I sense the inner workings of the Left Shoe afoot. He may have new grey ones but I saw they said Skechers clearly printed on them. He ordered preSketchy shoes! There must be a reprisal! I supervised his slumbering sketchiness from the recliner upon the Two Legs return, well, until my required 2 AM piddle. I initiated the frozen nose wake up and shoved my paw in his mouth when he opened it. Yes, it was my left paw. Then I allowed him to take the substitute Two Legs out to IHOP for my authorized ham and white cheddar omelette bribe. They were a bit tardy but had brought back some peanut butter chicken treats so I overlooked his indiscretion. I savored my warm eggies and had just started to relax when that Blonde Two Legs that snores like a Grizzly Bear grabbed and harnessed me! That means the Poke and Stick Ride! What The Dog! Did they not understand they were already in violation of the Maddie Accords. They were at least four warm eggies servings and a lockable meatloaf pan in arrears! Now they added to the infractions with a trip to the place with the Old Two Legs that gets touchy-feely. He grabs my paws every time and sometimes shoves things up my butt. If Baldy and Blondie weren’t holding me I give him such a thump! I farted on him this thing. See if your masks works on that Old Dude! When I got home I nearly got away with dunkin the left shoe, but Baldy caught me in mid shake and messed up my aim. I missed the hole. There shall be a reckoning. The Shadow shall gain appeasement for the Maddie. Leave your Left Shoes unguarded at your own risk! Maddie Out!

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